Have you ever felt like you had to start over? Multiple times?
I have found myself again in a new beginning. This will not be the last, for sure.
One could look at the series of events of life, and look at a list of failures. However, I like to look at each moment as more of a rebirth versus a setback.
I sit here in my wellness center, The Phoenix, a brick and mortar space in downtown Racine, WI, marveling at how I got here. If you had told me in March of 2020 that I would be opening a co-working-inspired wellness center in the center of downtown Racine, during a pandemic, I would have snort-laughed in your face. It would have seemed impossible. How could I possibly do that.? We were on total lock down. Would we even go outside again?
But that is the beauty of hindsight. I can look back and laugh at how fearful I may have been; how short-sighted; doubt-filled. I can see how hard it may have been to take that first step. How I developed a vision, made a commitment. I negotiated terms, taking a gamble that there will be a desire, a need, that when this all opened up, people would want to enter a space to heal and receive.
There were those who could not see. Some who thought I was out of my mind. Maybe even a few who would whisper that this would never work? It did not matter. It was my beginning, my rebirth. They were not my people.
I would forge ahead. I accepted what help I could muster. There were many days that seemed impossible. I would wake up in so much pain, questioning if I would ever get the space done. I would be filled with doubt by those damned little voices in my head that like to bring all the fear and self-doubt to the surface.. Yet I still showed up.
And that's the secret. SHOW UP.
It's showing up when you think you can't. Showing up when others can't see what you see. Showing up when you panic about the finances, hours, location, tenants, clients, and the PANDEMIC!
There is great satisfaction to take those fears and crawl through them. Many crawls were aided from family and friends. Even if they cheered from afar, it was validation of the journey. Validation that I was doing something BIG. And BIG stuff takes BIG effort; physical and emotional effort.
BIG stuff TRANSFORMS.
When you do something BIG, there will be battle scars. There will also be a shedding of your old self. I came through a different person.
And though we are not through the pandemic, I feel the energy beginning to swell. I can see and hear the need to heal. I know this is the right space in the right time.
Every BIG moment in my life came from a pain point. It was a feeling that I did not want to accept the path I was on. I took a step. I began again. It is never easy. Easy is for those who are happy, satisfied, content or indifferent. I have never been able to sit with easy. Easy is allowing creativity to sit on the back burner. Easy sleeps in and gets lost in streaming. Easy is accepting that something is "good enough."
I leave behind the easy. I am the Phoenix, rising from the ashes of my past self. It's time to shield your eyes, because I am ready to burn bright!